Stop Getting Punk'd Lil' Boys

When we say lil' boys we're talking about "adult" returned missionary "men" who are, for whatever reason, still acting like lil' boys. How are you acting like a lil' boy? you ask. Like lil' boys you are easily plied by any good looking gal and consequently more than half of you will end up getting punked by some lil' gurl and end up married way before you're ready.

Our friend "Jack" for example--has been uber punk'd today. Home Boy came home from a mission and started dating a girl from his mission. He's happy about their relationship; she seems like she's happy--things seem to be going well. But things aren't going well because any weekend that "Jack" isn't hanging out in his girlfriend's town (it's a long distance relationship), she's wondering what he's doing all dang weekend. Sure she can text and ask him but he doens't have to tell her everything when she's not looking him in the eye--this long distance relationship makes it so that Jack can be meeting girls all week long and his girlfriend will be none the wiser for this. "Jack's" girlfriend knows this cause she ain't no dummy. So what does she do? Under the guise of "well, I'll be going to school there next semester anyway" she moves to "Jack's" town. "Jack" is a lil' boy so the first time he gets punk'd is when he says, "Sure, sounds like a great idea." It ain't and the punking doesn't stop there. Now that "Jack" and "Brittney" are in the same town she all up in his business. She can look him in the eye now and ask all kinds of questions while workin' home boy down so he doesn't have any choice but to propose to her. "Brittney" is slowly whittling away his social life and any opportunity for joy before posterity he may have had. Today it all really hit the fan though--"Jack" and "Brittney" were planning on going to a Halloween party with a crew of "Jack's" friends, but all of a sudden "Brittney" doesn't want to go anymore. She's not feeling well. Does she want to stay in and watch scary movies with her man? Does she want "Jack" to come over so that they can pass out candy to the neighbor kids? No! She wants Jack to come pick her up so that they can go to her brother's band concert. First of all, who has a band concert Halloween weekend? Second of all, we thought she was "sick". How is she going to be leaving the house when she's sick? Is she trying to contaminate every person in Utah? (Cause if she is that's just ruuude) "Jack", "Brittney" doesn't want anything to do with Halloween or your friends for that matter, your wants are only her wants right now. "Brittney" has been dancin' in her bedroom mirror singing "Single Ladies", sprayin' perfume all up over herself, imagining and longing for that big ol' rock she's expecting from YOU. Her only want now is "a ring by spring" so "Jack" that's your want now too. Did you have any clue? Clearly not. "Brittney" only moved to your town "Jack" so she can make sure that you're not dibbling around town cause she has set her sights on you and you only. The move wasn't about going to school in your town it was about making sure that you don't screw up her post-mission life. "Jack" you got punk'd!